Odd memories have been popping back into my mind...odd moments that re-frame things.
In amongst all the family photos at my parent's house is one of me that I remember always being around as I was growing up, It's one I know well and have always liked, smiley, long hair, about eight years old maybe...Suddenly, during this visit, I could really see me in it. It seemed a bit odd. I'm wondering now whether it's more usual to connect with the self in a picture or not.
The other thing I noticed about this picture was how happy I looked, not just smiling but happy in some completely confident, innocent way that really struck me...and the memories that have been popping up seem to be connected with that energy too. That, just me, happy, not-thinking everything through, do what I want to, central sense of self energy, which took the universe on without pre-conception or prejudice.
Finding my way back to seeing my young self's adventures and mis-adventures through those eyes, rather than my more 'adult' ones, has been a gift. I hope I get the chance to integrate and explore further.
It was a gorgeous, manic, hard-work with an oft over-tired toddler visit, in comfortable, peaceful, familiar surroundings, spending time with the women of my mother's family, (and my lovely born-again-almost-school-boy-yet-just-retired dad number 2) and it was lovely. Tiring (read exhausting to the point of wobbles) and completely refreshing at the same time...go figure!
I've not read my mail, visited any blogs, checked in on The Goddess Circle or TAW, as yet, since my return a couple of hours ago though part of me is itching to do so I'm just seeing if I can ease that refreshed energy properly into my life here (but not the wobbly bit).