Half-term

It's when my life suddenly becomes a blur.


Days are indistinct enough with the constant round of meals, naps and nappies of an under two, add a turning twelve plus friends, a house guest plus girl-friend and a husband home with a bad back and I lose my last slight grip on external life. You know, the one with careers, the slightest idea of this year's trends or even if there has been an earthquake/flood/hurricane somewhere other than in Brighton...(if there was one in Brighton I slept through it).


So it's Friday and I feel strangely suspended. Disconcerting.


I'm beginning to fear that the picture I sent to America is lost...the thought makes me sad so I'm trying to visualise the tube arriving safe and sound with it's happy new owners.


Hopefully now that I've written it down my fear will be proved wrong.


My feeling suspended is like feeling lost to myself.


I do have time to myself but somehow I'm off wandering aimlessly unable to catch my own attention. So much to do, and so much I think I want to do, yet all I feel like doing is sleeping.



Hmmm, I might go to bed in fact...and the picture will arrive tomorrow and all will feel right again.

Z leaves for Poland!

Finally I had to decide that this picture was finished, mostly as I couldn't leave it alone and was scared of ruining it.


It's new home will be in Poland! So with one piece in America (hopefully it'll arrive) and one in Poland I'm an amateur international artist!


That is quite a funny idea.


Yesterday we had Two French guests, one Belgian guest, Three Polish and ourselves, So international is the norm.


And this was French, English, Belgian breakfast on the lawn!

Sometimes

Sometimes, not smoking is really hard.

Thursday!!!

Finished?

Yay! nearly the weekend!

More guests arriving tomorrow, hadn't occurred to me to wonder whether Stefanie speaks much English before this moment...but thinking about it I expect she does very well...I think it's fairly usual to speak several languages in Belgium.


Tomorrow the kids break from school for a week as well, I just hope there isn't some big project handed out to do in the break...it's usually a wonderful learning experience for me, but I could do without the homework fight!


I'm really feeling the benefit of spending more time with my female gorgeous goddess friends...I am filled with so much love and a sense of peace just thinking about being able to spend time with them...I remember writing little prayers for this in the hopewitch blog a couple of years ago.


Whenever I consider what I have in my life it occurs to me that I have what I asked for previously with my heart.


Halcyon Pink has been inspired to flow with the idea of being an Inner-Activist and it's truly how I believe we can change any state of reality. I look forward to his musings and am grateful he is as inspired, sharing, watchable and sexy as he is...(and of course, Huggable)


Ok, big kisses for now

Wednesday!!!

So how cool is this...Posting two days in a row, and I had work time two days in a row as well!
New picture of z in two days...feels quite quick, still about ten hours so far, and still learning how to acheive depth and shadow more effieciently...can only keep practicing I guess.

Finally got to art class on time, only to find out it was cancelled!

Med arrived last night to stay for a week, so hopefully it'll add to the holiday sensation...and I'm out to dinner tonight with the girls.

Quite the socialite at the moment, what with London trips, Jazz nights and dining out...all with other women which is deeply wonderful. I feel so good when I get to spend time with the gorgeous women I'm lucky to have as friends and sisters.

Hmmm, I really like this picture, not 100% sure it's finished, and I feel unsure about the level of difference I see between my drawings and the original pictures...kind of 'If they're so different are they getting better/ good enough/ do they convey the person?'

The best I've seen likeness wise was z's second pic, hmmm.

Tuesday!!!!

I'm happy happy happy and excited.

I have work time, right here and right now...not later, not something more important that needs doing, but right here and now.

I have some pictures chosen...I'm here to mail them to myself as I'm using the lap-top to work from in a minute...but it's much slower than this so posting comes first.

I've been craving to draw for days, seeing pictures in my head and feeling my hands itching for pencils, weird and wonderful!

And I'm happy and excited because I finally got to post off the drawing/painting of C to America today. That felt sooo good. Great big tube for such a little piece of paper though! I'm so happy I feel like it's me getting a gift...I'm even waiting for it to arrive! I really couldn't be happier.

I found that when I did Z's pictures for my friends, I was so excited for them to be seen...they were a little harder to let go of as they were the first. Every time I looked at them I was amazed at what I had done, and they were based on such beautiful photos.

On and on, want a new one, it's a bit like suddenly having more babies and children to love, quite strange and amazing. I wonder what it's like to draw peoples pets, whether you suddenly find yourself liking animals more.

Ok, enough mad rambling for now

Big kisses.

How cool

How cool (and pretty) is this section of one of my mum's pics?...I love it and am very tempted to have a go at drawing it, but I'm a touch hesitant that it may drive me loopy. Could be a wonderful lesson in patience.

Quick start

Tree house, Alnwick Castle, Northumberland, Mum's pic.

My mum and Ed have been visiting, so now there are hundreds of pictures, days worth of blogs to catch up on, and I didn't even tell you about my day in London yet. (It was incredibly gorgeous, relaxing and magical, not how I remember London at all!)


There's so much I'm all excited to be sat at the computer!...and I've fallen for the new google page Mark set up for me...I have to leave an extra tab open because I like it so much...I'm really not quite sure exactly how sad that is, but I'm smiling anyway so who cares?


more later

Big kisses.

Happiest accident

So these are photos of the finished picture...It was much more difficult than I anticipated working with the black paper, and once I reached a stage of giving up I began to play with oil pastels along with the pencils...finally here at the end I find that the pearlescent effect is intriguing with this particular image, as it allows the light to truly appear to be reflecting on the wet sand, glowing from the sky etc. in a way that gives this little picture some wonderful sense of life.


I have a particular soft spot for watching my children in this kind of light...that reflected from sand and/or water for some reason is quite magical to me...so here, in the end, I'm really quite taken with this drawing/painting as I was the photograph.

Lovely.


Now I just have to get it to America in one piece!

Cider, Sunshine, and a Smile

Today has made this week seem very busy and big.


I finally caved and re-arranged our bedroom to make studio? space this week. I had resisted to avoid having any kind of work sensation in the bedroom.
Historically I'm quite happy with art stuff in there, I meditate in there and pen to paper has always been part of that for me. But relaxation, self expression and hopefully creating some sort of living are different.


It has worked quite well though, our room is big enough to have my row of shelving, books, desks, computer, scanner etc down the wall which is to the left of the door, leaving the bedroom as the main space to the right. Psychologically they still seem separate to me.

Today I've been working in there on our very slow lap-top...slow but working so that feels good.


I had a pint of cider, in a friends garden, in the sunshine today. Sunshine, friends and ice cold sparkly cider...can't even remember when I last did that.
It meant I actually felt too relaxed and happy to be bothered to do anything much, which was just what I needed. I'm surprisingly driven for someone who doesn't actually go anywhere much.


And Tomorrow! Tomorrow I'm being taken out for the day to London...definitely can't remember when I last did That!

I used to go a lot in my late teens, to Covent Garden and Camden Market...very rarely since I got married, other than to pass through on my way to Paris a couple of times.Actually I remember taking our eldest to the Science museum once, and going with the gorgeous goddess Lisa once...


Perhaps tomorrow will encourage me to go more often...we'll see.


And I have mostly finished the picture I was working on (oh and started another at art class on Wednesday) The one of the beach has taught me not to trust my instincts when I think 'That'll work amazingly on black paper'((!!!)) no, no, no it won't Julia, never listen to yourself again when you say such daft things, it'll make it really hard work to produce something at least a little grey!

It has become an intriguing piece worked with irridescent oil pastel as well as pencil.
Mark really likes it.

Personally I quite like the perfect bum I started on Wednesday...even if it is a little too small and model like to usually be clelebrated by me. I think the final pic will be striking. (at least I hope.)

Big kisses

Today is gorgeous

It's warm and sunny and a lovely bank holiday...sitting here is wonderful and relaxing, even with both the kids about...it's rare for everything to come together in quite such a picture perfect Sunday way.


I give it five minutes max.


The rest of the day will be as lovely too, just not so peaceful, or with me at the keyboard.


I've popped in to show the latest picture I'm working on (permission recieved, Thank you) and to say that I haven't worked on it for a couple of days because it's scaring me as much as the last two. I've really no idea how to do the wet sand etc...but I love the original picture so much I want to try.


So far today I've doodled and written...that'll no doubt appear here in the next day or so


Ok the arguing has begun, sounds of tension squeaking from the other room, so that's it for now.


Big kisses.

Challenges

Mud, mud, glorious mud!

Ok, I'm day eight of ten days raw...and doing well.

There was the Barbeque, Mark's roasties and Thursday was mother and baby group at my house (chocolate cake AND carrot cake)...and to top that list a big bag of chocolate came into the house last night. :) I'm still eating raw.


The real challenge has been more costly. In one week I've notched up (at least) £140 worth of mistakes financially.

This feels all about being centred. I find that having a baby is quite de-centering because baby is wonderfully and totally centre, So since the beginning of this year there has been a gradual pull in me to bring things back to where the centre is for me. Creativily, financially, homewise, health wise.


I was struggling with getting health prioritised though...I don't smoke anymore which is positive, but have been eating all sorts of junk with no real appetite for anything at all...hence the clear my palate and plate raw ten days...I love eating raw once I get started and I've definitely found my appetite again!

Yet it's like trying to close the lid on a too full suitcase...my finances have exploded out the other side.

I feel like giving up.

Hmmm.

Giving up is an important stage for me...that's a signal to 'give it UP' literally...to give it to Spirit, to surrender my methods and throw my hearts deepest wishes out into the wonderful and just keep going where I long to be.

I long to be balanced. I long to be healthy and clean and energetic. I long to finish paying off the money I lent my previous self. I long to have a consistently relaxed happy household for my children to grow up in, full of love, AND I long to get better and better at my drawing. I want it to have it's place.


Ok, so I feel better. All we need is the energy to carry on.

I want to show you what I'm working on, but I have to ask someone's permission.

Big kisses.