- I can't really draw
- I have issues to deal with other than the fact that I can't draw.
Ok, so the idea of this task is precisely to throw up those challenges...but I wish I could draw Lilith's face.
During the process today, especially when I finally allowed myself to try just to put onto the paper how I feel/felt about her, I realised that she is the same as My Blue Lady (a later guide)...I now remember that I knew this originally as I worked with MBL as a guide. My Blue Lady is all essence and light, timeless and ageless though...and Lilith is fleshy and human and aged...I see wrinkles and white hair that are young and particular and I can't draw them.
Working on this image...possibly to do with the story of Lilith, I also found issues coming up to do with the fact that I am a survivor. It's something that currently and mostly is a small issue, they were seconds, minutes and moments in my past...sometimes, something of this past is all I can see in the world. Today I just wanted to know who else in my life was a survivor...I meet regularly with eight other women and I wondered if I stood up and said "I'm a survivor" would anyone else?
I had issues of not wanting to be alone, today I felt I wanted to hug another survivor, to recognise her (or him as I have in the past) and have a hearty hug...and issues of wishing there were no shame attached to talking of these things, where are the everyday conversations of the things that make life challenging? Shame on shame.
There are many lovely support sites out there, but I also had the thought of leaving the invitation here to say feel free to say "I am a survivor" even anonymously, in recognition of ourselves and each other.
If we want to talk our stories I'll offer to make space for that too.