The Big Fat Nothing

I wanted to run around last night
Yelling I get! I get it! I get it!
Instead I smiled
Floated in Peace
Dark Peace Deep
In the cool refreshing space
Of Nothing
Not even Loving
Not even Love
Just Nothing.

I heard somewhere once
That the journey for men
Was to learn that they are Love
Yet be pre-disposed
To knowing they are Nothing
Whilst the journey
For women
Was to understand
That they are Nothing
Beyond their knowledge
That they are Love

I had stood there once
On the path
Into Nothingness
Pulled and invited
Tempted yet holding
Onto Love
My Love
For my son

Half of me left
Half of me stayed
Often wondering
If I could ever let myself fall

Then there I was Loving,
Loving Everything
When inescapibly
It was clear
I was Nothing
That was Loving
Everything

I was there
As the Darkness
No Leap
Just myself
As the the ocean
Of Nothing
I had feared.