Two months!!!???

Two months already? I am lost somewhere in all this life!! I just worked out that I started this picture two months ago...so much for one a week!

Something big is coming up...no idea what yet, and impossible to imagine where to fit it, but I can feel it creeping up from inside me and edging in around me. I am feeling slightly un-nerved and gnaw-y. As ever there is only one thing to do, keep moving forward...slowly. So I'm off to move this picture foward too!

I ask for clarity.

I feel gratitude and Love for all reminders and illuminators.

I ask to keep my heart open even if my mind tries to panic.

I ask to remain in Love.

This is where I work...(sometimes!)

For my Nan!

Lead the Way!

Some people you just have to run to keep up with! These are the other pics from our friends house a couple of weeks back...

I was thinking I'd been non-internetty because I was in semi retreat, coming back to myself...turns out it's just a challenge to fit everything in! The last de-clutter finally had the impact I'd been hoping for, things tidy away easily, there is space for growth and I can find things as I need them (touching wood at this point) The space in the house seems to re-arrange easily for the days needs too which makes it feel bigger in some way...room to breathe.

Good job too! I'm nervous about our up-coming meeting with the EOTAS (educated other than at school) team and the less energy it takes to move between roles in the house, the more energy I have to concentrate on trying to remember all the things I have to do! Big dreams and brilliant ideas apparently take lots of time, attention and intention...I have heard about a guy teaching others the value of (and how to work) a four hour week!!?? I need to find this man! Not really sure that motherhood could be made that efficient but perhaps he has so much free time now he wouldn't mind coming and lending me a hand.

Big Kiss!

Julia

I've just had one of those moments that leave me grinning for hours...

Watching some film credits I noticed a Julia...I love that name, love my name, love seeing it unexpectedly, being reminded of myself, my existence and getting such a buzz out of it... I was just thinking to myself how much I loved my name when my constant critic began mercilessly ribbing me about being such a complete narcissist!

I'm usually reasonably quick to concur and internally bow my head in appropriate shame, but this morning a second thought was there to rescue me...actually I love loads of things that much.

That lead to one of those rare moments of fully realising and feeling how I love and accept myself as completely and excitedly as everything and everyone else I love.

I love moments like these.

Hmmmm

I am suddenly very aware that I am threatened. That I have been feeling under threat since moving back to the south of England, to it's high cost of living, rents four times those of where I was, house prices easily four times as high and salaries really not so.

I felt threatened and uneasy, worried about providing for and protecting my family even before I found myself pregnant little more than a month after we moved here.

This fear has manifest itself in a lot of growling on my part...a lot of barking and snapping and trying to keep everything in line and under control at home...it has also raised a lot of hopeful dreams in me about community, sharing, gifting, sustainability and an opening up of us as human beings.

Those are my dreams, my wishful thinking...though I think I do it with quite a practical mind that sees these paths as logical helpful steps for us and those around us...I believe these doors are opening wide and full of amazing opportunities for growth and connection.

Guess what!?...I'm de-cluttering! Lol!!! What is it in me that makes me respond to threat of lack with such a strong sensation of paring down?

Mmmmm, Letting go I guess, needing space to allow change, having nothing left to be convinced I should be afraid of losing...what you are used to is just what you are used to.

Huge Love

Flowers in the Garden

Floating

I open myself up to
That bed of delight
The comfort of knowing
That all will be right;
I see in this ocean
All beauty, no form...
Understand ultimately
There can be no wrong.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Pretty much how I'm feeling at the moment! Took me a few minutes to find a couple of pictures to show how I feel, and these are definitely them! The joyous exhilarating freedom you feel at the 'I'm almost flying' point in any leap...The surge of love and pride you have watching your partner play with your kids...the sunny peaceful warmth you feel when you get to enjoy an afternoon walk by yourself, just to breathe it all in.

I think the blue skies in these pictures must hold a lot of it too...and now I've typed that it reminds me of being 'told' by one of my gorgeous guides, to let my 'blue pour forwards' only in my hand written journal it came out looking like 'for words' and it was the day I learnt about communication being Communion In Action.

Today I finally got to listen all the way through to Jennifer McLean's 'Healing with the Masters' talk with Sonia Choquette... Which I'm very sorry to say you may have missed the freebie access to by now...BUT!! the Healing With The Masters Series is just kicking off and all the time I've spent listening so far has left me feeling like these pink flowers basking in the sun and reaching for the sky!

The perfect antidote for all the gloom spreaders, nay sayers, and scare mongers that may be pulling at your ear and you may find just the seed, just the spark, to release you from something long overdue...I did.

Big Kiss