Something wonderful clicked in me yesterday, as I wrote my morning pages I became aware that everyone on the planet has a dream. Even if that dream is just to make it to the next moment, find food or water, survive the next punch, pass through pain or just sit down and rest. Internally, awareness taking stock of the moment we are in and beginning to hope for the next moment....and for a few moments I saw the planet from that perspective...a planet of hope energy in all it's different flavours. Saw it's completeness, how everything conceived is included in this very moment, the ups, downs, good, bad, ecstasy, hopes, peace and desperation.
I feel that somewhere, someone is holding part of this whole for you and for me. This is my belief, my understanding of existence...that if something exists, it has to exist...Therefore, if there is something that you know exists, and you are not being it, then someone else is being it. So these moments for me, as well as moments of sheer awe and the most tender joy at seeing a 'whole' moment, are also always ones of deep gratitude. Gratitude for life and existence, and deep gratitude that in this moment I am neither perpetrator or victim of anything I could not bear to be; and gratitude for all those brave enough to be living wild and beautiful dreams so that we can see them and aspire to them even before we are ready to be them ourselves.
Loving to be reminded just how much of a gift life continuously is.
And This is the start of my thank you for this year blogs, This thanks going to Halcyon Pink..for among other amazing things the video above.
I can't believe this picture was taken just hours before everyone became ill! They're still ill! Though this evening finally is an improvement on the last couple of days, there's even hope I might get a nights sleep!
Here are the atrociously lit, taken with my phone, want to do it now, photos of my last three winter picture, they actually make up one A2 picture, so that'll show you how off the lighting is, the middle one is the truest to what I see on my wall. If the light is good enough tomorrow I'm hoping to put up a new panoramic at the top of the page, with all my deccies for Christmas.
Big Kiss
I'm actually stopped in my tracks tonight...finally there is nothing practical I can do...everybody is ill and they have picked a separate room each to hide in, so I can't clean, sort, decorate or paint!
I'm also a little nervous to go to bed with everybody so spread out I'm not sure I'll hear them if they need me.
At least that brings me finally to here, for myself. The TAW has opened up huge things for me, and I'm constantly busy at the moment...either with my own thinking/writing/clearing or community creative tasks such as facepainting, crown making or snowflake glittering with local children at groups.
This year for the first in a few I've really found Christmas and all it's preparation and decorations a wonderfully enjoyable distraction from the ever deepening cold and greyness of the shortening days. By the time it's all finished and packed away we'll be headed in the direction of Spring at the beginning of a New Year
I'm usually busy racing to complete things before my next Birthday but for the last couple of years have been really ill January through March...So we'll see. I'm trying to take a bit better care of myself through these weeks in the hope it'll pay off then.
I've been celebrating winter in my pictures, a couple of which are here today and a couple more I promise I'll post in the next few days, I have a ceiling full of snowflakes too!
The pics are play and experimentation, but I'm liking the way they are going...everything has irredescent pastel in, which historically I've found annoying in some way...too much...but this time I'm loving the fact that when I sit in different seats I see different pictures.
I hope your lead up to Christmas is going well.
Big Kiss
It's a beginning
I woke up this morning feeling happy (and it was finally my lay-in Yay!) but as I lay there something else gradually began to dawn on me...I felt like myself, only ten years ago!
That's actually a little odder than it sounds.
You know how sometimes a smell sends you back for a second, or finding a childhood toy can bring a hint to you of how you used to feel inside when you played with it...it was very like that, only incredibly solid. As if I just woke up in my old house, completely me, could tell you which clothes I had in my wardrobe, what toiletries were in the bathroom, everything. Solid. It didn't fade out either, I just lay there feeling strangely and wonderfully me, but a different me. Most odd.
It was only once I was up and interacting with the kids that I suddenly realised the sensation had gone, and that, just like when you've had a whiff of a smell from your past, I could no longer feel in my body what it felt like at all.
It brought to mind all the people that I've heard say that they don't change on the inside, that the body changes but we feel the same internally, still feel twenty five at sixty five...well not me! I feel quite quite different, and I didn't know it until this morning.
Okay, that peculiar insight into my mind aside...the other good things today are this Halcyon Pink Belief Buffet video:
The fact that I have run out of things to send to the charity shop.
The Wonderful Creative Goddess Course I am about to enroll in and invite a friend to, hosted by the Ever Loving Leonie.
(I say here: enrol! enrol! Grab such a lovely opportunity to shine and embrace and play...and there's extra squashiness in the form of delightful giftiness if you do it before December 1st)
And the fact that I finally began to lay colour on paper today... after a few weeks of clearing, the doodling has begun again.
One of the times I shaved my hair
Okay, right at this moment I'm tired...hungry and tired, so this is going to be woefully short for a first blog in TEN days!!!
