Mostly

Mostly, If you find me on here I should actually be off doing something else...


My house needs tidying, my paperwork needs doing, I've drawings to work on, and even people I could be having coffee with...never mind the pile of laundry waiting for me.


Of course mostly I have my littlest to keep me from those things, but he's actually not here at the moment, there's not another soul in the house...so I'm sat eating pick-your-own strawberries and talking to no-one on the internet...oh and listening to Lou Rhodes.


If only the whole world had my problems.


I hope that Love opens you more each day.


Big kisses

Helena's cards

TRUTH
Speak your truth. Is there anyone on this earth that is really worth betraying your own honesty with yourself for? Regardless of whether you are trying to save another's feelings or avoiding a conflict, a mistruth is a mistruth and you will have to suffer the betrayal of yourself if you do not have the courage to liberate all involved. The truth will always, ultimately set you free..

TRANSMUTATION
You are in a great time of change. You are shedding the out dated aspects of yourself for a greater perception of who you are as a person. Allow the healing to help you to come to higher understanding of your sense of self.

COMMUNICATION
People's perceptions of you are very much influenced by what you say to them. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and openly. Let people know where you are really at and there will be little need for conflict.

REBIRTH
This card signifies an emotional rebirth through the learning of major life lessons. Family issues that you have carried all your life are coming to the surface….soon you will be free.

REGENERATION
Your spiritual belief systems are breaking down right now so that they can be replaced with higher understanding and experience. This may be a shakey time for you, but in accepting this knowledge you can rest assured that just through this bit there is a whole new understanding of life as you know it.

Card for the day

Fairuza's Blue 4

I keep popping back to Fairuza Balk's new art website http://www.armedlovemilitia.com/
because I find some sacred peaceful space in her pictures, that is at the sametime somehow disquieting.


I feel as though, if I'm lucky, some secret will become clear to me while I gaze at them.


That is a good sensation to have.


This one, Blue 4, and this one, I love You Today, and Roots are my current favourites.

Blessed to know Leonie

My soul is open to you

You are the deep blessing that is

Life loved and lived joyously

Every gift opens me

With my heart singing so loud

That silence becomes flight,

Life becomes grace

And all light

The obvious secret.

You can meet Leonie too! Goddess Leonie.

Hmmmn

Life is strange.

Wonderful, especially when it's peaceful, and strange.

Or is it that I'm strange?...no, and I definitely considered it, it's just that the way some things in life work, including me, are strange.

Perhaps it's only when we first notice things that they seem strange though. If I read enough books, studied and watched life perhaps gradually fewer and fewer things would seem strange...but then, wouldn't that be a bit strange?

OK, I'm not stoned, but I do seem to be having difficulty being fully present today, with a slightly uneasy sensation that it may not be such a good thing.

I'm off to either clean/eat or meditate.

Big kiss...I could do with a hug actually...so Big Hugs to you too.

Today!

Today I made it to art class so I finally worked on The Perfect Bum (as named by one of my dads) The original image is out of Psychologies magazine last month?...Of course I was actually trying to draw her hands. I still have to work on it but at least it has progressed.

The guy above was a forty five minute sketch I did whilst watching (or pausing) an amazing video of Jason Baalman's.


All of Jason's videos are amazing, I think he is quite well known in America, and at the rate I've been introducing him to people here hopefully he'll be well known in the UK very soon too.
My mum Ed and I sat and watched several of his speed portrait vids when they were visiting recently...and I've been making my way through his video lessons on how to draw portraits.


All his stuff comes across intelligent, funny, clear, generous and inspiring. What more could anyone ask from a teacher?...Oh yeah, practical, understandable, repeatable skills...they are all there too.

Ok, I've just found out that Jason also has a myspace page and I'm off to make friends

Big kisses.

Happy happy happy happy Tuesday!

It arrived!

Mark reiki'd it's arrival for me...I'm so happy! My heart has sunk a little every day I logged on since the middle of last week, but it arrived yesterday and now my heart is happy and I'm very relieved.

I'm 38 and my emotions still surprise me. I am surprised how responsible I felt at the same time as feeling it was out of my hands and there was nothing I could do about it.

It's also telling that even though I could replace it with a second one if it were lost/stolen/damaged, I'm not sure I could ever have let the feeling go of the loss.

That sounds a bit serious but there are so many little things I remember losing in different ways over the years, from pots of glitter when I was ten, to the tenner I got conned out of a few years ago.

Perhaps it's the unpredictability of it.

Big smiles and kisses.

Nonsensical

I spent the evening by myself yesterday. I often do, but not usually knowing I was unlikely to have company much before 3am...it was an amazingly luxurious sensation. I had time to draw, read, stay up late watching TV (way too late!) and go to bed, meditate and write before finally falling asleep in a huge bed by myself. Mmmmm.


At the point today when my 'I didn't sleep enough' headache hit me I was halfway through my Great nephew's fourth Birthday party with half the girls in his class still queuing to have their faces painted. Tonight I shall be dreaming of pink and sparkly butterflies for sure.


I am still caught in some strangely suspended sensation and am beginning to suspect it's a suspended part of myself coming to the fore requesting to be un-suspended. I'm a trifle scared of that...and wondering where the time will come from to make space for another aspect of self at the moment. I guess the only thing is to throw the request to energy and wisdom greater than my own.


I have been playing with my friends camera so you can expect lots of nonsensical pictures in the coming days.


That's a very bitty post, but it is what it is...


I suspect you can expect old random pieces of writing to pop up as well for a few days.